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4-052 (Text)

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addressee,male author,female,Mathews, Eliza,21
Word Count :
Plaint Text :
Private Written
Private Correspondence
O'Farrell, 1984
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4-052-plain.txt — 3 KB

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You ask me if I forget the loves we used to have. I'll forget I am in existence as soon as forget that darling. How I dwell on the happy times we passed together and look forward to brighter and happier days. Nor do I forget the one on the kitchen table. You remember it so vividly can you remember the first you gave me. I think it's time you blushed, please don't give the excuse that there is something red in the room. Dear me what an impudent cousin we had those days. To think of the liberties he took, shocking!!! But I suppose you will be telling me we were just as naughty to permit such things. Ah well, perhaps we were. I remember the last kiss you gave me, the last real one in Aunt Mattie's parlour, you said we'll say goodbye now before any other others come in and we gave each other such a real love that it's fresh yet darling. I got another kiss after, but that was when we were all standing in the hall. Oh darling how vividly that day rises before me, how mechanically I went through every thing and tried to talk and laugh as usual, but Oh that I could have been alone, how I missed the one dear face so tenderly loved and the voice that thrilled through me. Your letters are all I could wish letters to be, but I miss the reality, the writer, a blank is here, which only you darling can fill. I want the loving substance, my heart craves for something that will not be satisfied without you. There's a continual unrest an eager expectation, a looking forward to hopes fulfilled, which will not be at rest till I feel I have you by me not to be separated. It's a very queer feeling, intense love for someone. It may be wrong, but I cannot help it that home does not satisfy me as it did a few years ago. I keep longing for something not in the home, a continual yearning to know how you are, whether you are well or not. But I do not wish you to think I am fretting darling, for I am not. I know how that would grieve you and do no good but perhaps harm. But you alone know the feelings I have and understand what the heart longs for and to you only would I thus write  
I have been going over your letter and now come to something I would like to speak to you about, but first try and think your little wife is on your knee with her arms round your neck and my head on your shoulder and you with your arm round my waist holding me to yourself and I tell you I want to say something and please give me your serious attention for a few minutes. It's this darling, in some places in your journal it grieved me to read that several times on Sunday you were out laying poisoned baits and riding some distance after sheep and one place firing at some birds in the garden. Now darling you may think I am making a fuss over very small things but darling may they not lead to larger things. I don't want to vex you but I do want my Alick to keep the Sabbath a holy day. These may be small things now, but unless you watch over yourself and pray, they may lead to larger inroads on the Sabbath. O my precious one, my own dear husband guard against the very appearance of evil.  Your little girl prays for you darling and don't forget to pray for yourself my Alick. Don't neglect your study of God's word, my own, do not neglect your precious soul's welfare, it needs daily nourishing and watering or it will go back and not forward. It is easy for me to write and advise easier far than to act I know, but darling it is for your good I write, but I love you very tenderly, you know this don't you, that I do not mean to be fault finding, but I write in love to you, Alick my own.